Month: January 2012

Year 10 Work Experience Placements

Hilary Nunns 0 Comments

I’m in the middle of helping my son to organise a work experience placement for July 2012.  In my opinion it’s a crucially important event in the life of a young person, particularly if we give it the importance it warrants.  For some youngsters this might  be the first ‘proper’ reference they might receive.  It’s an opportunity for them to learn new  skills and show their talents.  Not to mention a much-needed quick dose of the real world.

But here’s the frustration; I’m told by the Work Experience Placement Officer at my son’s school that, due to the economic situation, many companies say they are unable to take work experience placements.  This is because of one or all of the following reasons:

  1. Insufficient staff to supervise the placement

  2. Incorrect or inadequate employer liability insurance

  3. Detailed Risk Assessments are mandatory

  4. Job descriptions are...

8 tips to keep you sane around teenagers at the weekend

Hilary Nunns 0 Comments

I’m lucky, I have 4 teenagers around at the weekends, but apart from a touch of laziness they are good kids.  Even so, they can be maddening!  Here’s what I try to do:

1        Allow the lie-in to take place until I ……

2        …. vacuum outside the bedrooms.

3        Put the laundry basket outside their bedroom door in expectation that either:

           -  it will be used for clearing the bedroom floor, or

           -  for one of my teenagers to take to the washing machine.

4        Write a list of chores for them, with an anticipated time for completion (and then expect a mad rush just at the end) in exchange for …..

5        …. agreeing to drive them and their friends to their activities or destinations, on the proviso that they are brought back by the other parents.

6        Smile happily at the grunts as if I...

Assertive, Aggressive, Passive or just Anxious? Part 4

Hilary Nunns 0 Comments

Recognising how to be more Assertive

There are some excellent self-help publications available in bookshops and online.  You
might find, though, that individual coaching or training in small groups from a training organisation (such as Can Do Courses!) would be the best way to learn and practice your assertive behaviour.  Our programme is outlined here https://can-do-courses.co.uk/?page_id=182    

There are many ways to become more assertive, here are a couple of thoughts you might want to consider trying:

1.  Don’t allow others to control you with their requests

Be ready for, and anticipate, the behaviour of others and prepare your responses.  Give yourself some thinking time.  Perhaps you should practice saying “hold on a minute – I need to consider what you have just said”.  Or you might consider saying “I’m not sure about that, it’s too important...

Assertive, Aggressive, Passive or just Anxious? Part 3

Hilary Nunns 0 Comments

What level of assertiveness would you like?

Honesty is the basis of assertiveness.   Fear of rejection or confrontation – or low self esteem - is what stops us from being honest.

Effective leaders do not need to be aggressive, although some use this power to gain
control.  Assertive leaders gain loyalty and commitment, without needing to control others.

If you are in an environment where others are aggressive, learning how to use assertive responses will not fuel confrontation, rather they might engage dialogue and respect.  Passive responses are more likely to initiate further aggression – often known as bullying.

I really like the Video Arts clip on You Tube (truncated from a 30-minute video) which gives a couple of examples of assertive, aggressive and passive tendencies.  Watch the clip

In part 4 I'll give you some simple...

Assertive, Aggressive, Passive or just Anxious? Part 2

Hilary Nunns 0 Comments

Sigmund Freud (a psychoanalyst born in the 19th Century) said that aggressive and passive behaviours can be viewed as defensive responses; our ‘defence mechanism’ when we feel under attack.   He said that defensive behaviour is “…behaviour to protect oneself from a perceived threat or attack.”   If we feel under attack, we attack back.  Either fight or flight.   Fight = Aggressive   Flight = Passive

11 signs of Aggressive behaviour

  • Attacking
  • Blaming
  • Refusing to listen
  • Swearing
  • Interrupting
  • Threatening
  • Scowling
  • Staring
  • Shouting
  • Crossing arms
  • Pointing

5 signs of Passive behaviour

  • Putting yourself down
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Apologise all the time
  • Letting others make your decisions for you
  • Not saying what you want

In part 3 - What level of assertiveness would you like? To control your own choices? Not to control others? To defend yourself?  Or all of the above?  

 

 

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